Flimflam for July duly attached
Oh yes, on another note, and readers of guff chucked up by your correspondent in another place may be aware of this particular theory, but I do believe it requires wider examination, as we may be on the cusp of blowing the lid off one of the biggest scams since Barratts reduced the size of their childrens' sweet bananas by a third without altering the price sometime in the 1980s.
Why are Nasser Hussain
And Mr Chism, from Thames Television's Minder, never seen together in the same place
www.longparishcc.co.uk
July 2015
Tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak, somewhere in this town,
errrrrrr......I'm guessing the jail Phil.
Never did rate Thin Lizzy, Nope. There I said it. Not all will agree but It always wrankled that the supposed swarthy rocker was Leslie Crowther's son in law, and I was once told rightly or wrongly that when Phil and Sally stayed over of a weekend, Leslie, who was of course famously the host of Central TV's The Price is Right and was hit on the head with a scaffold pole, (although not during the programme ) would stand at the bottom of the stairs and implore Phil and Sally to "Come on Doooown!" and have their breakfast, with a fey wave of the hand.
At which point it seems pertinent to examine the hidden life styles of others who lay claim to the title "hard rocker".
Who knew that Ritchie Blackmore was a dab hand at macramé, and It was rumoured within hard rock circles of the seventies that Bonn Scott, before his tragic demise was a whizz at jigsaws. He always denied it, but Tony Iommi could work a heated hair roller and all of Judas Priest were notorious flower arrangers.
And this brief examination of the hidden lives of 70s and 80s rock stars serves as froth to the main item for discussion, as I aim to demonstrate through a series of charts and graphs why "Can't get Enough" by The Scorpions is the seminal piece of Teutonic rock and later work by 90's arrivistes Rammstein are the work of an oompah band in comparison. We shall start with the prem... The cricket! the chuffin cricket! - ed
Oh yes, the cricket, it's been a busy month, on and off the field.
Longparish 1st XI
A trip to the seaside proved fruitless as Longparish went down by 59 runs to Bournemouth II, Matt Jackman was the star bowler with 4 for 26 and Harry Martin top scored with the bat with 36.
A tight game with Old Basing followed in which William de Cani scored 61 and Paul Blackmore 53, Barry Blackmore took 3 for 37 and Sam Trinder 2 for 36 but could not prevent Old Basing sneaking a 2 wicket win.
The game away at unbeaten league leaders Bishops Waltham was a breathtaking game of cricket. Longparish posted 212, the first time past 200 this season, due to a superb maiden hundred for Longparish by U16 Billy Mead who was unbeaten on 114 at the close. A stunning display in the field kept Longparish in the game, Ben Gardner took 3 for 25 and with 5 required from the final over with 2 wickets remaining Alex Coetzee kept his cool, conceding 3 runs and taking 2 wickets to secure a 1 run win.
Second placed Petersfield paid Longparish a visit, batted first and were all out for 173 with Alex Coetzee taking a career best 6 for 39. Michael Taplin got the Longparish reply off to a flyer bunting a quick 60 as Longparish completed a five wicket win with 6 overs remaining.
Redlynch and Hale has been a happy hunting ground for Longparish in recent years and this trip proved to be no exception. U15 Scott Sturt was the principle wicket taker as he recorded career best figures of 6 for 41 as Redlynch were all out for 173, William de Cani hit a brilliant unbeaten 115, his second hundred on the Redlynch Oval as Longparish cruised to a 5 wicket win with 15 overs remaining.
Longparish 2nd XI
At home to Donnington on a track full of runs, the visitors set Longparish II a target of 230 which they failed to reach by 23 runs despite a career best and quite brilliant unbeaten 92 by William Samways.
Away at Old Basing II Jordan Blackmore and Chris Clarke picked up a brace of wickets each as Old Basing closed on 152 for 9. Martin Savage top scored in the Longparish II reply that ended 23 runs short.
In the home tie with Sherfield on Loddon, Gary Taplin hit 30, Barry Blackmore 39 Harry Samways 46 and Justin Jackman 72 as Longparish II ended their innings on 224 for 9. Wickets were shared amongst the whole bowling attack in the Sherfield reply that was terminated 47 runs short.
Away at Littleton & Westhill II Longparish II out in their best performance of the season. William Samways hit 53 and Barry Blackmore 62 in a final total of 216. A target that Littleton II failed to reach by 117 runs with Martin Savage, Alex Brinton, Harry Samways and Barry Blackmore all taking 2 wickets each.
Medstead posted 201 against Longparish II, with Dan Bearpark and Ollie Coetzee taking 2 wickets each, a target that the home side looked to be on course to chase down, with Dan Bearpark hitting 32, Martin Bearpark 34, Jamie Blackmore 30 and Paul Blackmore 73, but in an exciting finished the innings was terminated 5 runs short.
Longparish 3rd XI
The Longparish III hats are set firmly on the side of their heads, there's a bounce in their step and they are loudly whistling dixie, after a month without defeat and high hopes of promotion.
Compton and Chandlers Ford IV were dismissed for 45 with Nathan Smith taking 6 for 27 and Christian Dawson 3 for 1. A target that Longparish passed for the loss of 7 wickets in the 30th over.
Down to the coast for Sarisbury IV next where Dan Bearpark hit 26, Dan Pomroy 34, Rory Kerr 29 and Martin Bearpark an unbeaten 119 as Longparish III closed on 262 for 5. James Young, Nathan Smith, Paul Giles (Yes Paul Giles???) and Callum Giles took 2 wickets each in a 139 run win.
Against Hythe & Dibden IV, Longparish II were dismissed for 103, but some brilliant bowling by Alex Brinton 3 for 15, and Christian Dawson 2 for 12, secured a 46 run win.
A low scoring tie with Oakmount saw Longparish III post 116,with Jordan Blackmore top scoring with 25 and Callum Giles adding 18. Nathan Smith, Dan Bearpark and Jordan Blackmore took a brace of wickets each and James Young claim 3 for 20 as the Oakmount innings ceased 8 runs short.
Longparish U15
Sparsholt U15 were beaten in the cup by 7 wickets with Jordan Blackmore taking 2 wickets and William Samways and Scott Sturt hitting 29 and 50 respectively, and Otterbourne U15 were beaten by 112 runs after William Arnold and William Samways both hit 30 and Alex Bundy and Bexley Oliver-Hawkins picked up wickets.
In the Cup quarter final with Easton & Martyr Worthy U15, Scott Sturt struck 44, William Samways 50 and Callum Giles 25 in a 20 over total of 150, a target that Easton failed to reach by 52 runs.
In the Cup semi final against Fairoak U15, Longparish U15 put in an impressive team performance, dismissing the visitors for 89, a target that they passed without losing a wicket with Scott Sturt on 45 and Jordan Blackmore on 28.
Longparish U13
Are unbeaten this month in all competition. Bishops Waltham U13 were beaten by 78 runs with Harry Cardno and Oliver Wills both in the runs and Jack Proctor picking up wickets.
Against Ropley U13, Luke Benzing hit 22, Oliver Wills 30 and Hamish Jannaway was unbeaten on 27 as Longparish U13 closed on 132. Bailey Sampson-Bridgen took two wickets in a 38 run win.
In an exciting league with Twyford, Longparish U13 posted 100 for 6 with Arlo Matley hitting 18. Bruno Matley took 3 for 14 and Louis Pereira 2 for 13 as the Twyford U13 reply ended 5 runs short.
In the semi final of the Barfoot plate, Longparish U13 took on Amport U13. Luke Benzing and Hamish Jannaway were both unbeaten on 30 and Louis Pereira scored 24 in a final total for Longparish U13 of 138 for 3. Oliver Buck and Ben Arnold took two wickets each and Liam Whitehorn, Harry Cardno and Jack Proctor took one each as the Amport U13 reply ended 48 runs short sending Longparish U13 through to the final of the Barfoot Plate.
In the penultimate league game of 2015 Longparish U13 recorded a 9 wicket win against Otterbourne U13 in which Luke Benzing scored 30, Oliver Wills, 33, Daniel Parkin, 19 and Hamish Jannaway 24
Longparish U11
Longparish U11 were unfortunate to be knocked out of the cup competition after a fine performance against IBM Hursley U11 in which Alfie Smith and Harry Randall picked up wickets and Jude Copper-Smith and Alfie Smith scored runs.
Longparish U11 bounced back with a great win away at Bishops Waltham U11, where Harry Randall, Harvey Randall, Ben Wills and William McDermott took wickets and George Lloyd finished with 3 for 4. Ben Wills starred with the bat in a 62 run win for Longparish U11.
At home to Twyford U11, Alfie Smith and William McDermott took wickets and Oliver Oram, Ben Wills and Jude Cooper-Smith scored runs in an impressive 27 run win.
Thanks very much to all of the parents, supporters, coaches and players who have dedicated so much time and effort to Longparish Colts cricket this season.
Tichborne Trophy
For the second game in succession an indomitable Longparish side, half of whom are too young to drive, knocked out SPL opposition in the Tichborne Trophy. Hursley Park were beaten in the previous round thanks to a brutal hundred by Michael Taplin and it was the bat that set Longparish on the road to victory against Sparsholt as William de Cani clubbed 129 from 66 balls. Nick Doubell was the pick of the Sparsholt attack with 3 for 36 as Longparish closed on 199 from their 20 overs.
U15 Scott Sturt picked up the key wicket of Stuart Tognarelli early in the Sparsholt reply, but John Sankey and Ed Ellis kept the Sparsholt chase on track before Sankey fell to Barry Blackmore for 20 and the classy Ellis was done by Matt Jackman for 32. Kyle Ruffell hit 44, Alex Coetzee bowled brilliantly for scant reward and Matt Jackman finished with 4 for 22 as Longparish secured an unlikely 33 run win and a place in the semi final.
"Noir" again and apologies, but this may be something for a younger person; anything chucked up in this guff regarding the Tichborne Trophy is displayed in black.
Dates for the Dairy
Monday - milking
Tuesday - milking
Wednesday - milking
repeat ad infinitum
Dates for the Diary
Sunday 12th July 9,45am: Barfoot Plate Final - Longparish U13 v IBM Hursley U13 (at Longparish)
Monday 13th July 6.15pm Tichborne Trophy Semi Final - Longparish v Compton & CF (at Hedge End)
Friday 17th July 6.00pm Millard Cup Final - Longparish U15 v Andover U15 (at Ropley CC)
All support welcome.
The Ground
Is brown, parched, and at this point I could don my hat of office and chuck up a few thousand words about how my sustained and determined consumption of vino tinto, is bucking the trend in the south east which is in fact slowly drying out year on year. But I shan't because it has the effect of making a small vein on my temple pulse at an alarming rate. The new gang mowers have arrived and the quest has begun to source a vehicle to pull them. Rustling the horses from the neighbouring field for the doofus to do the outfield is all very well, but they do leave the occasional equine mark, which may be good for the roses and also aid a slide to save a four, but the Hants Cricket league banned horse drawn mowers outside the New Forest many moons ago.
Alan's odyssey with his yellow mower continues throughout the week and the square is playing very well. The complicated wicket mower has been away at the menders and judging by the bill has had bits of gold and silver attached at various points and a choke made from diamonds.
Bumbling about the county in my role as reorder of incident with regards to Longparish Cricket it is quickly apparent that cricket in this county is often played at some very pretty and well prepared venues, but boy are there some shockers, (and I'm looking at you Venta Bulgarum City Council, spend some money, there's kids trying to learn the game on these tracks) where the surface is significantly bested by the car park and where a three figure score could be considered an over par score. We are fortunate at Longparish not only for the pretty and well appointed ground but to be in control of pitch preparation and ground maintenance, and thanks very much to all who do so.
Sponsor
Longparish CC need a sponsor, don't mean to sound desperate, but we'll pimp anything for a few quid, there's no moral high ground here, and as a club situated in the valley floor, less than fifty metres above sea level, I feel we continue to be justified in this stance.
Hundred Club
Thank you to all who support the Longparish CC Hundred Club Following last month's draw when Club Treasurer James Young drew inspiration from Sepp Blatter to claim top prize. James has since proposed that the impending Barfoot Plate Final, Millard Cup Final and Tichborne Trophy Semi Final are all played on a single weekend in midsummer in Qatar.
"I believe that in the spirit of taking the game to the world this is the way forward for Longparish Cricket Club. Ok it's hot, and fairly short notice, but our outfield has gone brown anyway so there won't be that much difference"
said James from his amber walled chambers in his Dacha on the shore of Lake Baikal, which he repairs to when the heat of the Qatari sun becomes a little much,
and so to the draw
The Hundred Club Draw for July
and at this point it may appear that I am just trying to fill the page,
I'm not,
Far from it,
Ahem, Ladies and Gentlemen, Cricketers and Non Cricketers I give you -The Hundred Club Draw for July:
£35 Chris Clarke
£15 Frank Hibberd
£15 Richard Wills
DOH!